Time, I think that I am so painfully cognizant of it because thanks to my chronic health issues I lose so much of it. Everything in my life has to be planned around those precious hours and days that are lost to the debilitating waves of pain and fatigue that repeatedly force me to take a time out.
Time is the most valuable commodity that we have. With it we buy every aspect of our lives. From study time to family time, to the lazy afternoon at the beach, time buys it all.
While we think of money and all it allows us to buy, dream about the lifestyle that piles of money in our bank account would allow us enjoy, we little realize that the most precious asset that we own is time. Without time a room full of gold and jewels would be of no value, it would offer us no worth.
It is only with time on our clock of life that we can think, grow, interact, and understand. It is only while we have a deposit of time in our account that we can stop and take a leisurely walk on the beach, pick up a book and read, learn a new language, enjoy a sunset, paint a mountain scene, give a hug to our loved ones, and the countless wonders that belong to the living.
For years I suffered from rounds of debilitating fatigue that would ground my life to a halt, days of miserable headaches so strong that I could barely tolerate the intense agony of opening my eyes, at times the slightest effort would leave me winded, and with an ever increasing need for ice water. Like an endless merry-go round I would enjoy a burst of energy that with each passing round slipped away faster and remained away longer.
Month after month the need for rest grew. Controlling more and more of time as I scheduled my whole life around the expectation that it was not a matter of if, but when the life-halting exhaustion would bring my world to a halt. Instead of attending my college courses in person I switched to only online classes that allowed me to work ahead so I could accomplish as much as I could and would allow me to get ahead if possible in my two to three working days before my body crashed for the rest of the week.
Continue reading “Iron Deficiency Anemia: More than Hemaglobin”
Have you ever heard the saying, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. In part that is true. There is so much about life that we cannot control. No matter how hard I wish, I cannot change my age, my height, the place I was born, or my genetic code.
Sometimes even in areas where we think that we should have control, such as going to school and choosing a career. With our plans all laid out, our eye on the port of choice, we set sail. Certain that we will reach our dreams it never crosses our mind that other factors such as lack of money, family issues, and health can steal our plate of velvet cake and leave us holding a basket of sour lemons.
It is at that moments such as these, when life hands us our greatest disappointments, that our true character and ability to maintain happiness shines. It is at this crucial moment that we have a decision to make that will impact the course of our live. We can chose to take the easy road and let the wave of disappointment swallow us up and give into the urge to slip comfortably into the satisfying robe of self-pity and burry our head under the covers. Or we can decide to take our basket and make lemonade. To get out of bed and do something that will put a smile on our face and take the first step towards choosing happiness.
From my spot on the sofa I can watch the first dry summer breeze as it ripples through the leaves of the oaks in my backyard. A small family of red coated cardinals is playing tag in my neighbors yard while lazy marshmallow clouds decorate the crisp blue sky. In the distance I can hear the sounds of kids splashing in a pool while their watching parents talk with friends from the comfort of their shady porch.
It is summer and life is calling. Calling me to get up fertilize and weed my little backyard garden, to admire the saucer size peach and red hibiscus flowers, or to pick a pepper the size of my hand. Life is calling my name begging me to cut and sew a cool summer blouse, to reorganize my closet, to spend an hour at the gym, to try a recipe for blueberry pie, or curl up in a corner with my favorite book.
Continue reading “Life is Calling and I am Stuck on the Sofa”
Energy, a six letter word meaning 1. the capacity for vigorous activity; available power: 2. an adequate or abundant amount of such power(dictionary.com). Most of us take this six letter word for granted. Assuming that it has always been there when we need it, and will always be there when the situation demands. Merrily bouncing around without giving thought to just how important a role energy plays in our daily life. Never realizing that from the moment we open our eyes until the moment we go to bed we are using the precious resources of energy to do even the most mundane task such as blink, cough, hiccup, or breathe. Jumping out of bed we head straight into our favorite routines little realizing the debt of gratitude we owe to energy as it fuels our daily task, ensures our memories, and guards us from the drain of an unexpected squeal of brakes or unwanted surprise exam.
Continue reading “Energy: A Simple Six Letter Word with a lot of Meaning”
One of the hardest parts of living with a chronic illness is the long list of life’s missed opportunities and adventures. Regrets over the long list of things you dreamed of doing but knew that you would never be able to do because your health would never allow it. And the frustration over the list of things you tried to do but had to give up because an ill-timed flair of pain left you bed ridden.
More times than I can count or want to remember I tried to reach my goal of becoming a doctor and failed. Several times under the influence of a brief pain free period I registered for class, only to have to drop days before the semester started because the intense aching of my bones had left me bedridden. Even when I managed to make it past the first hurdle and survive the add drop period, major infections, life-threatening allergy attacks, and overwhelming pain forced me to withdraw from one or all of my classes before the term was over.
Despite moving with the speed of a hibernating sloth, I continued on. Saving every ounce of my feeble supply of energy for my determined fight to reach my goal. Twelve years of faithful fighting and at last I had earned my A.A degree. But like a stubborn frog hitting his head against a brick wall, I still refused to give in. I still did not want to admit to myself that my dreams of becoming a doctor would never be reached. Time after time I waited for the wave of misery to pass so I could try again. Confident that I this time I would not make the same mistake that left had left me curled up in a useless ball of living pain. Promising myself that this time the outcome would be different and that at last I would realize my dreams. Trying to convince myself that if only I pushed a little harder, worked a little smarter I would make it. But each time my hopes and dreams for life had to be sidelined, postponed, and eventually abandoned as the list of missed goals, postponed hopes, and forgotten dreams grew longer and longer.
Why is that we humans love to give advice even when we nothing about what we are giving the advice about? Why is that hatting it being done to ourselves, we feel so confident to push our opinions on others? Without being asked, without knowing half the facts, we will decide that we know better than any of the parties involved, and make it our life mission to tell them why we know how to run their lives better than they do.
My name is Katherine Breanne Parilli and I am very new to the world of blogging. I have had an interest in writing for years, but did not find out about Word Press until recently when I started a blog centered around my dog Happy called Make Time for Happy 101.
But while I enjoy the creativity of my dog themed blog, I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings about life. I wanted the freedom to comment upon current events that touched my soul, to express my struggles dealing with chronic illness, and more that a dog themed blog would not allow. That is why I started my Reflections about Life blog.
My hope for this blog is that it will touch the heart of at least one reader. That in some small way it will help someone to view the world differently or bring a smile to someone’s face.
It is funny, at night my head is full of things that I long to write. Things that it feels are so important to share that it takes my sleep away. But strangely, in the morning when I sit down in front of my computer or grab a note pad to jot down a few important notes, the whole thing vanishes from my mind like a forgotten dream.
I often wondered why it was that so many of the musings of the night melted in daylight like cold butter on a boiling fry pan. And while I have never come up with a solid conclusion I have determined that it is due in part to our natural tendency to protect ourselves from pain.
reflectionsaboutlifedotcom 