Posted in Faith, life, Medical, Religion, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Before You Call I will Answer

Initially I had plans to write about some of the difficulties of starting an Etsy shop when you are basically housebound. That was until my uncle called and said that he was coming to deliver some stuff to our house this afternoon. Even though he was in the middle of emptying my grandmother’s apartment due to her recent death, the fact that he was making the near 3 hour round trip out of the blue struck me as odd. Due to another potential reaction to the super safe iron for pregnant women, my appointment for Monday’s iron infusion had been delayed for another week. And since he and my aunt had made the long trip to our house Sunday to deliver a bunch of furniture, this sudden, unexpected delivery caught my attention, and I could not help but think that God was sending him to our house for a bigger reason.

For the next two hours, except for the fact that both my mother and I felt miserable, things went smoothly, and it seemed that my initial instincts were unfounded. That was until I remembered that the day before we had missed a call from the hospital nurse to see how my mother was doing after her four or five day stay in the hospital almost a week ago due to extremely high blood pressure and chest pain. I did not think too much of the call, and decided that despite the pain I was in, I had better clean as many of the dishes before my uncle arrived, until my sister came rushing over with the phone and insisted that I needed to talk to the hospital nurse.

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Posted in life, Medical, Thoughts

A Good Day

Finally, after 5 delays due to my mother being hospitalized, my Grandmother having a stroke, allergies, and other chaos, I was able to get my 2nd iron infusion yesterday. I can hardly move today, but it feels so good to have some iron as it make breathing so much more comfortable.

Well the moment I finished that video everything went absolutely crazy. My mother’s blood pressure started rising like an airplane, their were issues with the bathroom, and phone calls galore. And to my dismay issues with uploading my file, turns out my files had to be 20mb or less. In the middle of the chaos, while on step 3 of creating my shop, I did something, who knows what, that locked up my account and got it suspended.

And as an added bonus, after months of slow but steady prep work, I was finally able to open an Etsy shop. Opening an Etsy store was an idea that was recommended by several leading KDP low content You Tube channels as an easy way to diversify. After all, low content creators already have the content used to create their coloring and activity books. With a little mixing, matching, and tweaking, they can easily create digital download activity packs and coloring pages to sell on Etsy.

After several months of utilizing what little energy I had to create a few activity packs, after a bit of prayer I decided that it was time to open my storm. The first few minutes went by smoothly, and I decided to follow the recommendation and create a little video that I could post to Etsy and add a little sound and put on You Tube to show off my new package, On the Go Bible Games and Coloring Pages Printable Bundle.

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Posted in life, Medical, Poems Beginning with T, Poetry, Thoughts

Tired in Bone

Have you ever had one of those days where your mind is bursting with ideas and plans, but your body feels like it is weighs a ton and all you want to do is crawl into bed. For me today is one of those discombobulated days where my mind is longing to work. I had a post that I wanted to share about the day my family got Happy. But even though half the post is already composed in my head, my tired and achy body rebels at the thought of sitting down and trying to type out the lines.

So instead I thought I would share a poem that I had written a few years back that was inspired by the frustration of having to deal with the debilitating fatigue created by chronic health issues like iron deficiency anemia, fibromyalgia, and more.

Posted in Acrostic Poetry, Anemia, life, Medical, Poems Begining with A, Poetry, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Anemia: One Step Closer to an Infusion

Hurray, after more than a month since I got my lab results back showing that my iron saturation had dropped to a 4 (the low end of normal is 15), I finally have an appointment with the hematologist. I wish that I could say that I was looking forward to getting an iron infusion. But while I appreciate the temporary increase in physical and mental energy an iron infusion brings, I am not a fan of having to spend 6-8 hours getting an infusion, and the uncertainty of how I will react. To make matters more difficult, this will be the first time that I have to get an infusion without the companionship and protecting watch of my father.

But even though I do not like getting an iron infusion, my stomach cannot tolerate taking iron pills for more than a few days at a time. After a few days it makes my chronic nausea so strong that I dread meal time to the point that I at times I am delaying and even skipping meals. To alleviate the nausea I have to stop taking the nausea causing my iron levels to sea saw up and down, and slowly causing my iron stores and iron saturation to drop to a point that I can barely lift my head off the sofa and where some days even a few steps leaves me gasping for air.

Fortunately, while I have been waiting for my referral to reach the the hematologist, I found a couple of natural ways to help me get enough iron to help me do one or two task and breath a bit more comfortably. One natural remedy is to drink a bit of beet juice mixed with another juice like grape or apple juice. Mixing it with another juice is important as on its own, probably due in part to its strong flavor, it can be hard to keep down. But mixed and diluted by another juice like apple or grape it become more tolerable.

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Posted in Anemia, life, Medical, Poems Begining with S, Poetry, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Sleepy head

Sleepy head is a fun little poem that was originally inspired by my dog Happy on a rare day that he preferred sleeping in to getting up and having an adventure. But since my iron stores and saturation have dropped to near lows, it could easily have been written about me. It does not matter if I get a good night sleep, or I toss and turn most of the night away, the thought of getting up in the morning fills me with dread.

I have a million things that I want to do, so the dreaming and planning portion of my brain is excited by the day, but the rest of me is too tired and achy to respond. No matter how good a nights rest I get, I wake up feeling as if I spent the whole night marching in my sleep. The only way to survive the day is by taking a few dozen cat naps and one or two long naps.

Part of that is because the lower my iron saturation gets, the harder it is to catch my breath, turning everything from the mildest workout to the simplest stretching or bending task into a major workout. Without enough iron, my body is struggling to get the oxygen where it needs to be, increasing recuperation time and massively decreasing my already limited energy levels.

Hopefully it will not be too much longer before I can see the hematologist and get a much needed iron infusion. Until then I guess I will just have to be a sleepy head with a greater appreciation not only for its important role in helping you to enjoy a vibrant and energetic day.

Posted in Acrostic Poetry, Anemia, life, Medical, Poems Begining with A, Poetry

Anemia Again

It was a less then delightful way to spend a birthday, more than 3 hours in the doctor’s office. But it was a necessary misery as it turns out, and not unexpectedly at least to me, that my iron stores are low and my iron saturation at 4 percent is very low.

Even though my hemoglobin was normal on my last visit, I knew that my stores were getting seriously low. Thanks to the serious bouts of nausea and my allergies to food dyes, it is nearly impossible to keep my iron in check. The low dose of over the counter gentle iron helps to keep my energy up a bit. But all it takes is a few days off to try and settle my stomach for my iron levels to come crashing down. Lately it is only a matter of a few days without iron pills before I become as pale as a ghost, find it hard to lift my head off the sofa arm, I struggle to catch my breath, I start forgetting even the simplest of words, and my limbs become ice cold.

So like it or not, it looks like this anemia inspired acrostics is the perfect poem of the day. While I hate having to spend an entire day stuck in the infusion center, it looks like getting a referral to the hematologist and enduring 6 to 8 hours for an iron infusion is back to being a necessary evil.

Posted in Anemia, life, Medical, Poems Beginning with T, Poetry, Uncategorized

Tired, Tired, I Feel so Tired

Tired, Tired, I Feel so Tired is a poem that I wrote during one of the flare ups of my chronic anemia in an attempt to express the deep fatigue that was robbing me of the freedom to live life to the fullest.

KB Writes

Tired, Tired, I Feel so Tired

By Katherine B. Parilli

Tired so tired!

My body feels so tired.

Like a weary shorn out rag I walk around in a worn out daze.

My hallow body feels ancient and weighted down from some unseen place deep within;

As if an indivisible foe is sucking the energy from deep within.

th44FQCKDX The tiredness is so deep at times that I feel like a toy that someone removed the battery from.

 

I struggle to stay focused.

I desperately push on,

But my endurance is gone.

Even my hunger is diminished,

As my empty stomach trembles at the wearisome draining thought of food.

 

Oh who would believe that an invisible bug could cut a grown being down so completely?

Could bring them crawling to their knees.

That a microscopic organism could invade a body composed of billions of cells,

And bring it halting…

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Posted in Medical, Poetry, Uncategorized

Worn

Worn, sadly this poem is the perfect summary of the past few weeks. Tired and worn before the day even begins, all I can think of is the delight of crawling into bed and taking a very long nap. My mind full of task pushes and prods me to work, reminding me of all the things that must be done, but like a car with a drained battery, it is all that I can do to sputter to life for a few moments and crawl a few feet before limping to the side.

 

Posted in Medical, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Human Bias and the Medical Field: Thoughts Inspired by Carey Purcell’s Article “No Fatties”” When Health Care Hurts

I recently read an article entitled, “No Fatties”: When Health Care Hurts by Carey Purcell which touched on the biases in care that fat people can face when seeking medical care. As I read the various stories of those whose pain had been ignored, sloughed off as the result of their weight, and  sudden, unexplained weight gain being dismissed as nothing more than the result of eating to many burgers, I could not help but recall my own experiences with the medical community that have left me less than thrilled whenever it is time to visit the doctor.

The flurry of emotions raised by this article run strong and deep through my soul like a quiet river that with the slightest rain rises into a ragging torrent. Most days I quietly forget the pain, as I focus my mind upon the daily struggle to keep meaning and purpose in my life along with the battle that comes with living in chronic pain. But there are days that wound rises to the surface and the tears threaten to come rolling down. In order to silence the pin pricks of irritation at being treated as somewhat less than human, I have done the unthinkable in that I have to a great degree shut down the person I once was. I have allowed the battle to alter the course of my life and erase the dream I once cherished.

The change began with simple steps that were almost imperceptible. Little moves such as changing the channel whenever a medical clip or episode of a favorite show came to close to my own experience and threatened to touch a chord I would rather remained silent. Soon I was no longer watching once loved shows like Emergency, Mystery Diagnosis, Quincy ME, programs that had inspired me to hope that one day I might help the suffering and sick too, because to me they had become nothing more than idle tales. Ultimately it progressed to closing the books and shutting down my hopes and dreams of becoming a doctor or at a nurse practitioner.

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Posted in Faith, life, Medical, Religion, Thoughts, Uncategorized

The Hour of Trial

I know that it has been quite awhile since my last post. I have wanted to post for quite some time, but have been enduring a rather strong flare up that has left me curled up in a tight ball for days on end. Leaving me little time to accomplish important task like helping with the dishes or assisting with the family budget. By the time I was ready to log onto Word Press my small bank account of energy had been overdrawn and it was not long before I had to turn off the laptop and curl up in a tight ball once more.

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Pain, fatigue, constant migraine headaches, and the chill of Reynolds had taken their toll.

 

The past few months have been far from easy. Filled with long days of pain, fatigue, miserable migraines, the intense body chill of Reynolds, and a slowly increasing heart rate it seemed at times like someone pressed the pause button for my life. Though it has not been easy, I had one great comfort. The sustaining trust that I was not going through the hour of trial alone. My confidence that every groan, every ache, every tear of misery had been marked by Jesus.

In those long hours of suffering I found myself often thinking of what it must have been like for Jesus during those last few hours before the cross. My iron low leaving me cold and struggling to get the strength to walk the few feet from my room to the sofa, I wondered how after being beaten multiple times and having already lost a fair quantity of blood, Jesus endured what must have felt like an eternal walk from Jerusalem to Golgotha. Then, weak and in great physical pain he was hoisted upon a crude cross.

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