Posted in Poetry, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Grant Me Purpose

For years, in between my bouts of debilitating pain, I have been quietly writing.  Creating folders of poetry, short stories, and even a book that sit quietly on my bookshelves waiting for the rare occasion when I would pull them off the shelf and read them.  And that is where I expected them to stay all the days of my life gathering dust and growing yellow with age, because I had no idea how to share them with the world.

Then a few months ago, around the time I decided to try my hand at word press, I decided that it was time to study up on the copyright procedure, which thanks to You Tube was not that hard.  After watching a couple of videos, and several visits to copyright.gov I finally got the courage the to submit my first application.  And last week to my excitement I logged into my account and found that my first application was closed and that I had received my first copyright!

This may not seem like a big deal to some, but to me this is one of the biggest things that has happened to me in quite a while.  Because of my constant struggle with health that has been continually interrupted my attempt to go to school and get a job, finding and maintaining a purpose for my life has been hard.  Many a semester I head out to classes, my heart thrilling with the hope that at last I had found my reason for being alive, that at last I was going to stand on my two feet and be an active part of life.  That finally I was going to have a chance to contribute to my family and the world around me.

Unfortunately at every turn something unexpected would occur such as a kidney infection that had spread to my lymph nodes by the time it was caught, undiagnosed allergies, debilitating pain, or a terrifying brush with anaphylaxis that brought my semester to a crashing end.

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This has long been the question of my life as attempt after attempt to finish college and get a job failed due to my health.  Locked in my four walls, my eyes tearing from the intense pain, this question burned in my heart as I longed to find a way to not only make my mark in life, but help to lighten the burdens of those I love.

 

So something as small as receiving a copyright is a big deal in my usually drab world even though I know that receiving a copyright is far from selling a book or the joy I hoped to have of graduating from medical school.

To celebrate my joy I thought I would share with you one of the poems in my first submission.  A poem aptly based upon my hearts longing to find purpose for my life.  I hope that you enjoy it.

 

Grant Me Purpose

 

By Katherine Breanne Parilli

 

Give me a purpose that I must serve.

Give me a story that I must tell the world.

Appoint me a song that I must sing to those around me.

Appoint me a task to provide a reason for my days.

 

For I was designed by Your Master hand for service.

Created to find joy in activity,

And fulfillment in active living.

Designed to move instead of rusting in a lost corner.

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Sometimes my illness left me feeling like the living dead as I spent most of my days helplessly watching from the sidelines even though I longed to be an active part of the world around me.

 

 

Is there fulfillment in being slothful?

Is there contentment in being sluggish?

Is there life in slumbering away ones precious few days?

Is one alive who acts like the dead?

 

What is the satisfaction in becoming corroded?

What is the joy in nothingness?

What is the delight in being useless?

What is the reward of letting life melt away?

 

Can purpose be found in emptiness?

Can desire be fulfilled in uninterrupted slumber?

Can love be demonstrated by a wasted life?

Can one show honor if one does not obey?

 

Does success crown the head of the lazy?

Does education impart knowledge to the thoughtless?

Does wisdom make its home in the dwelling of the neglectful?

Does glory place its stamp upon the sleeping?

 

Are fortunes created by twiddling one’s thumbs?

Are mountain’s climbed by daydreaming?

Are battles won by hiding from the fray?

Are new worlds discovered without exploring?

 

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As one forced to view the world from the sidelines, I understand only too well that greatness takes effort, and that if one is going to explore new worlds they must do more than wish from the safety of their sofa.

 

Oh Lord, grant me a purpose to give tone to my days.

Grant me a task by which I can serve You.

Grant me a calling so I can be light onto others.

Grant me a duty that will draw me closer to You.

 

Grant me a purpose,

Because I was made to serve.

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Grant me a purpose, reveal the reason for my life has often been the theme of my prayers.  But even though I do not comprehend the reasons why my life has taken the path it has, if I am faithful one day soon I will find that my life served a purpose.

 

Copyright 2016

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