Posted in Faith, life, Thoughts, Uncategorized

An Unfulfilled Dream

It was so exciting, our dream of moving to the country seemed like it was going to come true. My parents had brought three beautiful acres in the country, and it would not be long before we left the city life for the peace and quiet of the country. My father was so excited that he every time we visited the he would pull down a few of the thin trees that would easily give way.

He even went to the store and purchased a chain saw so he could cut down and clear the land.

Continue reading “An Unfulfilled Dream”
Posted in life, Thoughts, Uncategorized

A Tough Milestone

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links from which I will earn a commission. 

For the past few weeks, I have repeatedly sat down and tried to make a post. But even though my head is full of ideas, as soon as I sit down in front of my computer, the words seem to evaporate, and I quickly find myself mindlessly scrolling through articles I have no intention of reading, doing my best to avoid the painful memories of my first year without my head cheerleader, sounding board, and father.

He was the first one that I went to after hearing about self-publishing and when I decided that I would like to start my own You Tube Channel. When I was ready to start running Amazon Ads, he was the one who helped me with the funds. Whenever it came to major purchases or decisions on what step I should take next, it was his patient ear that I turned to. Without him I felt like a ship without a rudder struggling to weather the storm.

Over and over I felt the pang of loss as I faced a tough decision and turned to look for advice only to be greeted by his empty chair. When a bit of good news such as having 5 books sell in one day or like today when my Poetry Channel finally reached the 200-subscriber mark brought a smile to my face, how fast it faded as I realized that he was not going to be there to share in my simple joy.

Life had already brought enough lonely tears as I watched the mile markers of life pass me by. Locked away by endless days of pain and seemingly forgotten by the world at least I could count on the support of my family. And now that one support, that one precious gift that I had been blessed with, was being taken from me. Love, career, success, friendship, the satisfaction of earning my daily bread, the joy of having my own home, children, independence, and all the pleasures of adulthood had been denied me. Like a time capsule buried in the sand I had watched the years go by, yet my life had remained unchanged. I ate, I dressed, did what I could to maintain my sliver of health, put on a cheerful face, and waited for my chance to become a part of life as I had since childhood. Only now there was one less voice to celebrate the few successes and encourage me when life rained down its many disappointments.

Continue reading “A Tough Milestone”
Posted in life, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Bread Maker A Definite Winner in My House

My father was the baker of the family. Every few months he would make a half dozen loaves of bread and a batch of pizza dough. After I learned that some of my symptoms was the result of food allergies, this special treat became a lifeline as buying bread from the store was nearly impossible. After his unexpected death almost a year ago, I cherished that last loaf, not only because it was a symbol of his love, but with my chronic health issues, making bread by hand was not an option. Therefore there was a definite possibility that this precious loaf might be the last time I was able to have bread.

Years ago we had a bread maker. And once in a while I would use it to make a loaf of bread. But shortly after moving to our new house my mother, wanting to do a big favor, made a loaf of bread. The problem was that she did not realize that this particular model had a tendency to shake rattle and move. And move it did, right off the counter onto the floor which was of course the end of our bread maker.

For years we looked for a new one, but without any success. Then one day a few weeks ago, my mother and sister went shoe shopping during tax free week and was surprised to find a break maker on sale. Fortunately, instead of walking away they called to ask me what I thought, and of course I told them get it.

Continue reading “Bread Maker A Definite Winner in My House”
Posted in Faith, Poems Begining with H, Poetry, Thoughts

He is Coming

Some days, when the pain is mild and my energy is surprisingly high, it is easy to get out of bed and face the changes of an increasingly strange and hectic world. But some days, when sorrow and pain blend together, when trial and heartache haunt my door, it is tempting to curl up in a ball of agony and let the stress of this world gain control.

But on those days there is one hope, one blessed beacon of promise that keeps me afloat, and that is the promise that He is coming. That in spite of today’s spiking heartaches and fears, there is a reason to get out of bed and smile. That even though my dreams may lay in crumbled heaps around me, even though chronic sickness has robbed me of many a joy, I still have a reason to lift up my head and sing songs of praise.

Because today with all of its trials and hardships is not the end. This world full of crime, hate, sickness, and death is not the fruition of my hopes. Like Abraham, Issac, and Jacob I am just a pilgrim in search of a better land. But unlike them, my story is not set at the beginning, but at the end. Instead of thousands of more years, this world is lucky to have a dozen years. And by the way things are changing, and it seems like we are descending into madness, often wonder if we will even see the next decade.

Continue reading “He is Coming”
Posted in life, Thoughts

Wish List: My Perfect Comfy Office Chair

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links from which I will earn a commission.

It is nearing midnight, and I am desperate for sleep. But my little dog Happy who was diagnosed with diabetes a few months ago, was struggling to fall asleep. So like a restless wave he was marching back and forth. We tried taking him outside, adjusting his bed, giving him water, but nothing worked. The only hope was for me to crawl out of bed, turn my computer on, and play some soothing hymns to help him relax and fall asleep.

Unfortunately that not only means that I have to give up my sleep, but I have to spend an hour or two stuck in an uncomfortable garden chair. I used to have an office chair, but after ten plus years of service it had reached the point that its cover was peeling all over the floor (which was not good because if Happy is feeling hungry he will lick the floor in hopes of finding a tasty treat), and it had worn in such a way that it would kick me out of the chair. Finally, since it had reached the point that the outdoor chair was actually more comfortable than it, that it had seen better days.

So now, instead of being able to lean back and relax while the music plays, I have to struggle to find a semi comfortable spot and struggle to do something while I wait for Happy to relax enough so I can crawl into bed.

As I sit here, I find myself wishing for the perfect comfy chair. But what makes the perfect comfy chair. Getting another office chair is the cheaper solution, only it is not very comfortable for a day that I have to spend a couple of hours sitting at my desktop to accomplish a must do task that can only be done at my desktop next to the printer and important files.

Continue reading “Wish List: My Perfect Comfy Office Chair”
Posted in Faith, life, Religion, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Thoughts about Faith

Faith, it is a very small word containing only five humble letters, yet it certainly is a mighty word. When everything is going right, and the road of life is quiet and well paved, it is really easy to say I have faith and think that you understand what that word really means. But how can you? What faith is required when life is at its best and want and fear have no place in your life.

What faith is required to walk on plush carpets and eat ice cream by the pool? What faith do you have to rely on when your life is like a romantic postcard or an add for a tropical resort? What exercise of heart and mind is called for when your life could be flashed up for the poster image of successful because your every want and need is met for years to come. When your beliefs line up with the crowd and are excepted at every turn as the only way to live, saying I have a measure of faith takes neither courage nor self-denial.

It is not until trial and adversity hunt your steps, when discouragement and disappointment hunt you down like a pack of hungry hound dogs that you really get a glimpse of the depths and power of faith. Because it is then that you have to chose to hold on to faith. It is then that you have to chose to grab hold and cling to faith, that it become more than words.

From our comfortable arm chairs it is easy to look back at the mighty men of faith and say, I would do the same. Or to look down at those who fell short of the mark and say, I would never do that. Nothing would make me lose my faith. I would never chose the comforts of this life over faith in Jesus. If I were in that garden, or if I had been King Saul, or if I had been so and so I would have done this and not done that.

Continue reading “Thoughts about Faith”
Posted in Faith, Poems Beginning iwth I, Poetry, Religion, Thoughts, Uncategorized

I Trust and Wait

I trust and wait, is an easy thing to say when everything is going right. But during times like these, when the tiny two steps forward that it has taken years of struggle to gain, in one second has been swallowed up, and it seems like you are about to be pushed back a thousand feet farther than ever before, its not so easy to say. And harder yet to mean.

I trust and wait, praying and working, even though that is all you can do in this life, sometimes does not seem like enough. And it seems like vanity, when you look at the wall of problems eagerly seeking a way to knock you down.

O how simple those words of faith are in times of ease, but in uncertain days like this, when your fledgling business that a few months before was just starting to grow, has suddenly turned upside down. And a thousand clicks is lucky to bring in one or two sales. And all your painful sweat, your agonizing hours of pushing through exhaustion and pain, have evaporated into another lost dream, suddenly its not so easy to promise to put everything in God’s hands, and to give over your heavy burdens.

In times like these it is so tempting to rip them from His hands, and say Lord, I know better than you. To say why did I let go, when everything I have tried goes wrong. And every corner of my life seems to be filled with nothing but impossible dreams.

It is easy to say I trust and wait when life is a breeze, but when the trials of life hit, then you know who really mean it and who are just saying words made of puff and fluff.

Yet this is the moment, this is the hour that our faith must rise to the challenge, and take an even stronger hold of that Almighty hand. Now more than ever, it is time to give God every corner of our heart, and to tell His listening ear of our increasing woe. For we are small and powerless, but who can stand before the Maker of the Universe? Who can cross the line, of Him who by a word quieted the storm?

They say that after a long trip, the last few miles home are the hardest. And from the looks of things, that is where we are in the scheme of prophetic history. The bulk of our wandering in an arid desert is almost over. In a few more miles we shall reach the banks of the Jordan and there we shall at last lay down all of our burdens. But like the wandering children of Israel before us, the last few miles will not come easy. Temptation and trials will increase, as the devil uses every device to trick, discourage, and if possible prevent us from making it to the other shore.

If you enjoyed this poem you might want to check out my book Poetry From the Heart Poems of Faith.

Disclaimer: This post contains a link to an affiliate site. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Posted in Thoughts, Uncategorized

Just Day Dreaming

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links from which I will earn a commission.

Today I am in one of those rare moods where I want to imagine what it would be like if through some positive change in circumstances, I was finally able to have my own bathroom. For years I have hoped and prayed that some day I would at least have a chance to have my own bathroom space that I could decorate. I would love to have a theme for each season to keep things from getting boring. But if not, my top pick would be the beach.

I love going to the beach. and listening to the soothing sound of the waves and feeling that refreshing breeze against my face. I used to look forward to those 2-3 days a year that we got to stay at the beach. In honor of those precious memories, if I ever had my own bathroom, at least part of the year I would decorate it with a beach theme. For starters I would pick out a piece or two of beach-themed wall art to help create a relaxing beach mood.

Continue reading “Just Day Dreaming”
Posted in Poems Beginning with C, Poetry, Religion, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Come Soon and Rescue Us

Come Soon and Rescue Us From Sin, is a poem that I wrote years ago. It would seem with the passing of the years that this longing would lose its power, but as I look upon the unsettled state of the world, as I behold the increasing tension between nations and people groups, as I watch in horror the open acts of lawlessness, and witness first hand how man’s hearts are growing cold to the rights and needs of their fellow man, it only grows stronger.

More than ever my heart cries out to God, come soon. Do not wait any longer. The earth indeed is reeling to and fro, and the people of the world are clasping their side and groaning like a woman in travail.

Yet at the same time, when I consider how far from the mark my life is, when I ponder the sad state of the loss, and when I think of how many precious souls have no real understanding of the battle between good and evil, I long for a little more time to pray and seek the lost.

Truly we live in strange times where the effects of sin are becoming so clear that our hearts desperately call out come now dear Lord and put an end to the cruel work of sin, yet there are still many hearts that are open to the calling of God, and as much as we long for the day of redemption, love for our fellow man bids us to wait a little longer.

But as hard as it is to wait, the signs around us are shouting that are wait is nearly at an end. And that today is the day to begin in earnest to prepare our hearts to meet our Savior and to work with all our might for the salvation of friends, family, neighbors, and foes.