Have you ever had one of those days where your mind is bursting with ideas and plans, but your body feels like it is weighs a ton and all you want to do is crawl into bed. For me today is one of those discombobulated days where my mind is longing to work. I had a post that I wanted to share about the day my family got Happy. But even though half the post is already composed in my head, my tired and achy body rebels at the thought of sitting down and trying to type out the lines.
So instead I thought I would share a poem that I had written a few years back that was inspired by the frustration of having to deal with the debilitating fatigue created by chronic health issues like iron deficiency anemia, fibromyalgia, and more.
Good news, hopefully anemia will not be controlling my day much longer! I am scheduled to get my first infusion this Thursday. Which is great, because even with the occasional iron pill and daily drinking of the prune, Rasin, grape, and date drink, my hemoglobin is quickly dropping, and it is becoming harder to do even simple task like eating without becoming short of breath. My iron is getting so low that even though I am spending a few minutes in the sun nearly every day to get some natural vitamin D, I am becoming as pale as a ghost.
I am still not a fan of spending most of my day hooked up to an IV, but at this point it is an answer to prayer. It will be so nice to be able to do simple things like stand up and walk down the hallway or get something out of the microwave without becoming winded. While there are many big things, I want to do like complete 5 minutes of exercise on my total gym without gasping for breath or spending ten or fifteen minutes a day completing my next poetry or story book, it is the simple things of life that I am looking forward to.
Each time my iron drops so low, I am reminded how easily we forget the many little gifts that God has granted us. The ability to eat without feeling like you are going to suffocate, to bend down without fearing that your breath will be completely taken away, or comfortably walk a few feet without hyperventilating are all too often taken for granted. Too often we spend our lives chasing the big gifts, and think ourselves ill-used and believe that our prayers have been ignored because we do not receive the big bonus that we deserved, the funds to take our dream vacation, get a promotion, or some other desire of our heart.
Hurray, after more than a month since I got my lab results back showing that my iron saturation had dropped to a 4 (the low end of normal is 15), I finally have an appointment with the hematologist. I wish that I could say that I was looking forward to getting an iron infusion. But while I appreciate the temporary increase in physical and mental energy an iron infusion brings, I am not a fan of having to spend 6-8 hours getting an infusion, and the uncertainty of how I will react. To make matters more difficult, this will be the first time that I have to get an infusion without the companionship and protecting watch of my father.
But even though I do not like getting an iron infusion, my stomach cannot tolerate taking iron pills for more than a few days at a time. After a few days it makes my chronic nausea so strong that I dread meal time to the point that I at times I am delaying and even skipping meals. To alleviate the nausea I have to stop taking the nausea causing my iron levels to sea saw up and down, and slowly causing my iron stores and iron saturation to drop to a point that I can barely lift my head off the sofa and where some days even a few steps leaves me gasping for air.
Fortunately, while I have been waiting for my referral to reach the the hematologist, I found a couple of natural ways to help me get enough iron to help me do one or two task and breath a bit more comfortably. One natural remedy is to drink a bit of beet juice mixed with another juice like grape or apple juice. Mixing it with another juice is important as on its own, probably due in part to its strong flavor, it can be hard to keep down. But mixed and diluted by another juice like apple or grape it become more tolerable.
Hope, it is something that we all desperately need to keep us going. With a good dose of hope, we would not have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Because it is hope that that cheers us up when everything around us seems glum and impossible.
It is hope that takes hold of the strong arms of trust and faith to keep our heads above the billowing waves. When discouragement seeks to suffocate us and build such a high wall that we will never be able to enjoy another ray of sunlight again, it is hope that points us to the great promises of God and reminds us of the importance of trusting in things that though yet unseen, will one day become a wondrous reality.
Like a vitalizing tonic, hope has the power to revive the nearly dead soul. Bringing it back from the brink of lifelessness into a vibrant and purpose driven life.
Sleepy head is a fun little poem that was originally inspired by my dog Happy on a rare day that he preferred sleeping in to getting up and having an adventure. But since my iron stores and saturation have dropped to near lows, it could easily have been written about me. It does not matter if I get a good night sleep, or I toss and turn most of the night away, the thought of getting up in the morning fills me with dread.
I have a million things that I want to do, so the dreaming and planning portion of my brain is excited by the day, but the rest of me is too tired and achy to respond. No matter how good a nights rest I get, I wake up feeling as if I spent the whole night marching in my sleep. The only way to survive the day is by taking a few dozen cat naps and one or two long naps.
Part of that is because the lower my iron saturation gets, the harder it is to catch my breath, turning everything from the mildest workout to the simplest stretching or bending task into a major workout. Without enough iron, my body is struggling to get the oxygen where it needs to be, increasing recuperation time and massively decreasing my already limited energy levels.
Hopefully it will not be too much longer before I can see the hematologist and get a much needed iron infusion. Until then I guess I will just have to be a sleepy head with a greater appreciation not only for its important role in helping you to enjoy a vibrant and energetic day.
It is amazing how fast this world is changing. As I look upon the strange happenings in the political world and behold how close we are to war, as I see and experience the pangs of inflation, and watch in horror as it truly seems like men’s hearts are growing cold to the needs and desires of their fellow men.
More and more I cannot help but wonder where has joy gone? Where has the peace and happiness that makes our life upon this sin tinged earth disappeared to?
With great sadness, I look around and behold pitiful scenes of want. My heart aches as I see so many weighted down by fear of the future. And I long all the more for the wonderful day when true joy, a joy free of the taint of sin, will at last be ours. O how I look forward to the day when Jesus stand up and says no more and the battle between good and evil comes to an end.
Right now as the drums of war pound in our ears, as the bombs of what could easily turn into world engulfing war fall heavily upon the shivering soil, it is hard to picture a day when strife and blood shed will come to an end. Right now while hunger and disease rule, even a day without pain seems impossible. Yet that glorious day is almost here.
The very things that call us to cry out and ask where joy has gone, the very terrors which fill us with horror, are even now seeking to point us to the fast nearing approach of the last great battle between good and evil. Wars and rumors of war abound, the ears of man are closing to the rights and needs of their fellow men, disease almost seems to be falling like the rain from heaven, and pest are getting out of control, yet we were told that this would be state of things just before Christ returns.
But one of the biggest signs that the end of our days of trials and tears is drawing near, is the fact that we are starting to see the mask come off and we are seeing the first open attempts to rule the hearts of mankind. To tell men that for the sake of freedom you must give up your freedom. That if you want to enjoy the God given right to work for your daily bread, to buy and sell, you must silence your conscience and follow the rules and whims of man.
While these ground breaking attempts to grab power have come as a surprise to many, God’s word has warned that a day was coming when only those who receive the mark will be allowed to buy and sell.
And that no man might buyorsell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. Revelation 13:17
Clearly this is a mini quiz in preparation for the final exam. Showing us that our graduation is quickly drawing near.
And while our earthly joy is fading, our heavenly joy is drawing near. Soon we will know a joy that knows no bends and will never come to an end. Because it will be a joy holy and pure, inspired by the endless wonders of Heaven and an earth made new.
As I consider that wondrous day when death and sorrow are forever buried, my heart once so heavy by the many sorrows taking place around me, cannot help but leap for joy. As I look forward with longing to that great day of release. And it is my hope that you will give your heart to Jesus and even now begin to taste a slice of this never ending joy.