Happy Sabbath everyone. I am so glad that God has granted us a day each week to spend drawing closer to Him. This world is so hectic, and as we draw closer to the final battle it is amazing how many trials and tribulations the devil is sending our ways in hopes of keeping us too busy to look up and behold how little daylight is left.
As we near the finish line, the roar of the lion is definitely growing more fierce as he seeks with all his might to take our eyes off the prize of salvation and refocus them on the fleeting things of this world. As the signs point out that the miles between us and Heaven are fast disappearing, like the great deceiver that he is, he is busily seeking to point our eyes towards his empty hand, promising us that hidden within his palms are jewels of far greater value than eternal life and a heart washed clean from the stain of sin.
Knowing that he has but a few hours left to deceive and tempt, he is doubling his efforts and stirring up as much trouble and tribulation as he can so that our hearts might be overrun with care and the fight to earn enough to fill our bellies and secure a roof over our heads that we might be tempted to doubt the promises of God. That we might become too busy to spend time upon our knees and in the word of God filling our lamps so that we might safely make our way past his many minefields and man devouring tar pits.
As I listen to the news and hear of the many warnings of disease, famine, and war, I cannot help but think of the warnings of Christ that before he comes there will be wars and rumors of war, pestilence, and other fearful wonders that are now coming to pass. I cannot help but think of the story of the wise and foolish virgins, and with trembling heart I plead with the Lord that He will keep the oil in my lamp full and overflowing, lest in the last moment of earth’s history my light should go out. And on the very shore of victory, I should be found wanting and lose that which is worth more than all of earth’s riches.
It is my prayer that this humble Bible game will help you in your effort to hide the word of God in your heart, so that your lamp will burn ever brighter, and that you will be ready to meet the Lord when He comes.
Today, as the tears of heartache and worry for Happy who was so sick that he stopped eating, drinking, and walking for over 12 hours. We have already lost at least 9 family members, including my father and grandmother, in less than 3 years. This year my mother has been in and out of the hospital multiple times with uncontrolled blood pressure that was climbing over 200. Last month both of her sibling gave us a scare after ending up in the hospital within a couple of weeks of each other. And once more, before we had a chance to recuperate from one loss, we were facing the very real possibility of losing our little Happy pup. With a sea of tears we have been presenting our petition to God day and night that He might, if it would not cause Happy greater harm, raise him up, and give us more time with him.
Over and over we lifted our hearts up to God as we poured out the unspoken sorrow of our heart to His patient ear. Even though we trust Him, it has been a struggle to place Happy fully in God’s hands. When we looked at the heartbreak of the past couple of years, coming so close that one scar could not heal before another wound pierced our heart, it was so easy to hold back and say Lord, you must heal Happy. To point to our many losses, our financial insecurity, and say Lord, how can you let us endure another blow. If you love us, You have to heal Happy.
But would that really be putting things in God’s hands? No, sadly that would be saying God, even though You know what is best, You can do what you know is best as long as it what we think is best. For a moment this might work out. For a moment it might save us from the sea of tears caused by the ache that was tearing our heart to pieces. But in the long run, when the danger or sorrow that the Lord was trying to save us finally came our way, the little ache of today, would be a thousand fold worse.
Hard as it was, we had to remind ourselves that God, tender father that He is, longs to keep us from heartache. And that before He allows any sorrow to come our way, He weighs it out to determine what we can handle, and what is for our best and the best of those around us. That unlike us, He sees the beginning from the end, and sometimes He like he did with King Hezekiah, He makes painful choices. How much better would things have been for Hezekiah, who at the time was a hero of faith, if like King David, he had bowed his head in acceptance of God’s word.
Oh how hard it must have been for Him to hear the sad proclamation that he was going to die from his ailment, especially knowing that he was without an heir. But at that moment he would have died with an untarnished record of faith. His record would have been one of trust and faith in His Lord in a time of great trial and tribulation.
But instead of trusting that the God who knows the beginning from the end, might be trying to save him from some unseen danger, pointed to his record as reason to why God should answer my prayer. King Hezekiah got his way. He got 15 more years of life, but at what cost? God knew that King Hezekiah was in danger of losing his faith. Flushed with his great victory of faith, King Hezekiah probably felt invincible. At that moment he might honestly have believed that nothing could get between him and God. And he might have imagined all the things He could and would do should God raise Him.
But while he did not see his danger, God did. And preferring to have a sleeping saint rather than a live sinner, God had made the hard choice to say no to healing him from his disease. It must have been with a heavy heart that God answered Hezekiah’s petition to look at his record and raise him up. He knew that when the cutting test of pride came his way, Hezekiah would fail.
Sadly, when the Babylonian representatives came to find out more about the miracle of the sundial moving backwards 10 degrees, Hezekiah forgot all about God. Instead of pointing them to the Great Healer, and telling them about the mighty maker of heaven and earth who not only had the power to hold the sun in place for a whole day or move it backwards 10 degrees, but also had the power to change men’s hearts, he showed them his great wealth.
Hezekiah had been given one of the greatest witnessing opportunities ever given to man. What other king, including King Solomon, had such a prestigious delegation from a budding super power knocking at their door practically begging to hear a sermon? Truly this was one of those moments when we could set back and wonder how different this world’s history might have been if King Hezekiah had proven true instead of giving way to pride and without one word of thanks or gratitude to God, squandered a golden opportunity to witness to the leader of the kingdom who would a few years latter be represented by the head of gold!
How different might the history of our world been if instead of showing off his wealth, King Hezekiah had spoken of the greatness of the God who raised him from his death bed and as a token of his word moved back the sundial by 10 degrees as easily as one leads a puppy. Never before or after was there such a moment to touch hearts as when that delegation, awed by the great miracle, were actively seeking to learn about a God so powerful that he could alter the course of time. At that moment their hearts were open to hearing and being impressed by the words of life. If Hezekiah had remained grateful, and spoken words of praise and gratitude to God, who knows how many members of that prestigious delegation might have given their heart to God. What a mighty witness for truth Hezekiah could have been. Only when the books of Heaven are opened, and God pulls back the curtain of history to reveal what might have been if that delegation had been able to bring back words of life to their king instead of visions of silver and gold, will we find out how the history of Israel and Babylon might have been forever altered. Instead of becoming an enemy of God and his people from which the call must be made Babylon is fallen, is fallen, come out of her my people, Babylon might have become a bastion of truth.
While this is a more sever example of the dangers of demanding God give way to our wants and desires, there is always great danger in seeking to pull things out of God’s hands and trying to force Him to do our will. Like Job in his suffering, he had no way of knowing that his misery was due to the cruel desire of the devil to bring him to his knees and tear him from the side of God. Right now the curtain between our world and the Heavenly realm is closed to us, and we cannot see how the hard the devil like a thief is seeking to pass the wall of protection that God has raised up so that he might steal us from God’s side. As overwhelming as today’s tears might seem, we have no way of knowing what greater pain and suffering the devil is longing to bring upon us if given the opportunity.
It is not easy to accept the tears of today. When faces with the painful, but purifying fire of tribulation, it is very easy to do as King Hezekiah and say Lord I want you to do things my way. It is so easy to lose sight of the fact that in this moment of pain, we are not the only ones shedding tears. But that as tender and loving father, the arms of God are wrapped around us, holding us up, even carrying us through the trial. And that His tears are mingled with our own.
Yesterday we took Happy to the vet and they said that his sugar was low, therefore we should not give him insulin until this morning. After dinner my sister made his poultice and we settled in for a relaxing evening. Around 9 PM I happened to turn and look at Happy to find him trying to eat his poultice plastic and all. In that moment I knew it was going to be a long sleepless night because Happy’s sugar has spiked.
After a nearly sleepless night, giving Happy water, taking him out, and trying to keep him from jumping off the chair, we were counting down the moments until he got his insulin and settled down. I was never so grateful to crawl off the sofa to give him is insulin so we could finally get some much needed rest. Unfortunately it did nothing. If anything Happy’s condition deteriorated as he went from being able to lay down for 20 or 30 minutes at a time to barely tolerating 5.
By the afternoon God had impressed upon us that we needed to take him to the vet. Fortunately, even though my mother had missed a lot of sleep, she had been able to get more rest than us and was able to drive Happy and my sister to the vet who worried that Happy’s sugar was so high that he was in ketoacidosis and might have to be hospitalized. She told my mother and sister that if we had waited a few hours more, Happy might not have made it.
Thankfully, while his sugar was seriously high, he was not in ketoacidosis. Strangely enough, even though he had drunk 15 or more bowls of water in less than 10 hours, he was dehydrated and had to receive a some fluids and nausea meds before being sent home. Thanks to the medicine he has finally been able to get some sleep. But it does not take much to upset his stomach and cause him to pass the floor.
The worrisome part is that the doctors are not sure why his sugar is suddenly spiking from very low to off the charts high. They are considering sending him so a specialist, but we are bit concerned about where we will get the funds. We are already trying to move to find something more affordable because our budget was wearing thin.
Yet what do we do? We really love Happy. And especially since the death of my father, he has been the life of our home. Cheering us up when loneliness and uncertainty was threatening to wear us down.
Ultimately our hope is that the Lord will hear our prayers and if it is for God’s glory and Happy’s best, He will put His healing hands upon Happy. Therefore we are putting Happy’s health and life in God’s hands. And if you could, we would appreciate it if you could take a moment to ask God to do what is best for our beloved four footed family member. And that if it is for Happy’s best, God will restore that sweet, cheerful, and uplifting smile back to our grieving home.
Here is an acrostic poem staring our little dog Happy
Sometimes, as I study my life, as I look upon all my short comings and failures, as I count up the truckload of disappointments that life has thrown my way, I am tempted to lose hope. But then, praise the Lord, as discouragement seeks to swallow me up, the Lord in His mercy points my eyes heavenward. With the tender love of a father, He reminds me that this life is not my source of joy and hope. He reminds me that my days upon this earth are like the falling sands of an hour glass. For a moment they stand at the edge, and in a blink of an eye they fall to the bottom and are lost sight of. So it is with the sorrows and pains of this life. Right now, if we set our eyes upon the things of this earth, even the smallest trial can seem like a matter of vital importance. But thankfully our earthly trials are only for a moment, because Jesus is coming.
The signs of the times are shouting that He is coming. The increasing birth pains of earth are screaming to us look up, because your faith is not in vain, and your redemption draweth nigh. Praise the Lord, our days of wandering are soon to draw to an end. This world with all of its fearful trials is not our hope. Our truckloads of missed dreams need not be mourned over as if all hope is gone. Because heaven with its endless ages of wonder is around the corner. Today may be full of tears. The news with all of its fearful tales of want and woe may fill our heart with anxiety for the future, yet we need not be overwhelmed.
Because Jesus is coming! He is coming to rescue us. He is coming to put an end to sin and death. He is coming to take us to a land where sickness, fear, disappointment, hunger, want, sorrow, loss, theft, intense cold or heat, destruction, and the many traumas of sin are unknown. In that blessed land, where the angels lift their voice in praise to God, we shall lay forever lay down our burdens.
With bodies made new, free of the taint of sin, we shall walk, jump, and run with the energy of a young child. For endless ages our minds will have the privilege to explore the vast universe that God has created. Our minds will thrill with delight as we dive into the depths of the sea to swim with sharks or climb to the top of the loftiest tree to hang out with the birds.
Every cell, down to the tiniest molecule will work with perfect order. No longer held back by aching back or knees, no longer kept on the sideline by anemia, migraines, MS, or any other debilitating disease, we will march along the streets of gold. We will build houses and gardens without any worry that the tax bill will prove to be too great a burden or that some stranger will find a way to claim our home and turn us out into the streets.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfTs6Tt4gNo&list=TLPQMDExMDIwMjJRkNBBXIwdEw&index=1As I consider the wonder of that great day, my pen feels so inadequate. In vain I long for a way to share a hundredth of its hope and glory so that the hearts of all might instantly be stirred to action. If only for a few moments I could sing like an angel so that your heart might be stirred so that with all of your heart you would desire to be part of the redeemed. If only I could say something that would encourage all to long for and take solace in the good news, that Jesus is coming. And He is coming very soon.
Happy Sabbath everyone. It is hard to believe that this is the last Sabbath of September. My how quickly the year has flown by. It seems like only a few weeks ago we were welcoming in the new year, and now the year is almost 3/4 over.
As I consider how fast this year has slipped away, I cannot help but think how quickly the precious sands of the prophetic clock are falling down. Fewer and fewer pieces of sand remain, as like a speeding train we head ever closer towards the collapsed bridge, Yet sadly, most of us remain ignorant of our approaching date with destiny. Our hearts are filled with the wants and desires of today and loaded down with dreams of endless tomorrows.
Like the antediluvian before the flood, we assume that as it has been today, so it shall be tomorrow. We look upon the ark, our only hope of safety, and assure ourselves that if the danger ever does come, that open door will be there to welcome us in. Even as a cloud of birds darkens the sky and a line of wild beast march quietly and faithfully into the ark, we comfort ourselves that time shall not fail, and the mercy shall patiently stand at her post for the rest of eternity. Little dreaming that in a few more hours our destiny will forever be sealed.
As I consider how quickly 2022 has made its march into the history books, as I consider all the changes that have occurred in 9 short months, I cannot help but wonder how close are we to when the last sand in mercy’s hour glass shall fall and the door of mercy shall then forever closed.
It is a solemn thought that should cause all of us to pause and search our hearts. It should drive us to our knees and ask the Lord if all is right between us and Him. As we look upon the ever increasing signs of disease, the warnings of famine, inflation, the call for civil and world war, the move to unite all under one banner, the shrinking of freedoms, the amazing decline in morals, the fearful rise in crime, the once unimaginable move to let criminals march free on the streets, the turning of right to wrong and wrong to right, and more the prophetic words for our day should burn within our heart as we realize with increasing intensity that the day of work is nearly spent and soon it will be too late to reach the hearts of family, friend, or foe.
As we enjoy once more the precious hours of the Sabbath, as we draw near to our maker, let us take a few moments to search our heart and ask the Lord to show us if there is anything standing between us and Him. And if for any reason you are holding back a corner of your heart, holding on to a piece of the world, ask the Lord to open your eyes and give you a better understanding of the times. Because just like the days of this year have flown by, so the days of mercy are speedily marching into history. And one day soon, so very very soon, we will wake up to discover that the door of the ark has closed, and we can no longer get in.
Happy Sabbath everyone. The Lord is so good. Last night was the first time in over a week that we were able to go to bed before midnight and sleep until morning. For more than a week our diabetic dog was suffering from both and eye ulcer and a stomach bug that kept him and us most of the night. No matter how hard he tried he could not find a comfortable spot to rest and there were times that every five minutes we had to take him outside.
Sadly his eye ulcer is still not fully healed as it seems there is some type of flap of skin or something that is irritating and triggering the ulcer. The vet tried to remove it, but decided that it was better to send him to a specialist. But even with that, he is feeling so much better that he is finally getting some much needed sleep and enjoying a good Sabbath afternoon nap, and we are enjoying some much needed rest and quiet.
I hope that you are enjoying a wonderful Sabbath afternoon spending time with family and the Lord. As we near the final mile, the peaceful rest of the Sabbath will only become more dear. Precious indeed will we look upon the soul and spirit refreshing hours of the Sabbath as we take time to commune with our Lord and Savior.
Sometimes, when I look at how hard I have struggled to only advance a step or two, I start to feel rather discouraged. As I look around me and see how far those who have put forth half the struggle, who barely gave 50 percent of their effort while I pushed my pain ridden body until it could not take another step, yet they are the ones with a comfortable home, family, and a job. And for all my persistence, my determination to give 100 percent so that I might reach my goal, I have nothing to show except a few bruises and an AA degree that can open no doors.
When I look at window and watch the cars go by, and think of all the dreams that will never be, of the family that I longed for, but will never know, and the country home that will never be mine, I must admit that for a moment or two, my heart drops, and hope seems so far away. As I look at my long list of failed dreams, and the success of others, I have to struggle to keep back the tears.
Why are others allowed to enjoy the fruits of their labor, and although I give my all, every attempt seems to end in utter failure? Why are my dreams always denied? Why cannot I find love? Why am I not allowed to have my own home and family? Why am I not allowed to have any real hope? Or is that the case?
As my broken heart looks upon the tattered remnants of my dearest earthly dreams, I am gently reminded to look up. To look up toward heaven and by faith behold the true hope. The hope that is free of sorrow and disappointment. The hope that is free of pain, suffering, want, and any taint of sin. To look up and by faith behold the wonderful day when sin will come to an end and as promised all my years of emptiness will, in one moment, be swallowed up, and transformed into an eternity of unending possibilities.
When the door to self-publishing opened up, I decided that I must find a way to use this opportunity to help people draw closer to God. Part of that was writing poetry that expressed my faith and gratitude to God for all that He has done. While I enjoy writing poems of faith, I wanted a way to do more. I wanted to find a way to help people draw closer to God.
For the longest time I had no clue what to do. But then, as the Lord opened up another door by introducing me to low content books like Sudoku, word search, and coloring pages, I knew that this was what I had been looking for. For the first year, as I struggled to learn a little bit about the software and making puzzle books, I worked on regular activity books. I really enjoyed it, but I could not shake my desire to also create puzzle books and activity packs that would help people learn God’s word. But I had no idea what type of book to create. Finally after a lot of prayer, and having become a little bit more comfortable with the process of creating activity books, the Lord led me to a video about how to make a Bible coloring book and other videos that filled me with ideas of what I might be able to do.
Here is a sample page of one of the first Bible pack on wisdom, that I created thanks to those ideas. It is a fun coloring pack with some of the Bible verses on wisdom.
If you enjoy coloring Bible verse activity books, or if your are looking for a fun way to learn the Bible, and would like to check out my Wisdom Bible Verses Quotes Printable Coloring Pages activity pack, click here. And may God bless you and help you to find a way to fill your heart with His word and draw so close to Him so that all the gold and silver that this world can offer will not separate you from Him.
A few months ago I wrote a warning article on my Make Time For Happy blog, a fun blog inspired by my little pup, about the dangers of letting your dogs outside without keeping a close watch after a hawk or an owl came within feet of my back door. If it had happened when we first moved in 14 years ago, I could have understood. As very few of the lots in our neighborhood had been built and it felt like we were in the middle of the country. But now ever lot has been built on, and areas that were once nothing but trees have been cleared and transformed into neighborhoods and more and more it feels like we have been swallowed up by the city. So you would think that it would be safe to open the door and let our little dog spend some time roam his fenced in backyard.
For the first few years we had Happy, we often did that. But every once and a while we would notice the shadow of a hawk passing over heard and heard the birds madly screaming as the mocking bird or black birds gave vigorous chase. Oddly, as the houses sprang up around us, we were surprised one day to look out our window and see a hawk sitting on our fence. For a few days after we decided that it was better to be safe than sorry, and accompany Happy as he ran and played. When, after a few days, there was no sign of the hawk, we figured all was safe and we let Happy out as normal.
On and off for a few years, there would be a pattern of the occasional visit by the hawk for a few days each year, and then an all clear for the rest of the year. At first it seemed like there was nothing to worry about as the hawk would only relax on our fence for a few minutes here and there for a few days, and take off at the slightest peep. For those few minutes we were able to enjoy the priviliage of beholding this breathtaking predator from our family room window.
Then one year, there was a somewhat worrisome change, yet it took time for us to recognize how unnerving it was. After years of making the occasional visit and taking off, we noticed that instead of taking off the moment that we opened the sliding glass door, it would linger and let us admire it from the safety of the porch. Our hearts thrilled with amazement as we stood on the porch and enjoyed this rare view. As soon as I had the chance I got out my camera and snapped a couple of pictures, thinking how lucky I was to be granted this rare priviliage.
Then one day I tried opening my porch door and take a few steps outside so I could get a better picture. And to my surprise, the hawk stayed and let me take a few picture.
And after a couple of days take a few steps in its direction and take an even better picture.
It would seem that alarm bells should be going off at this point that this wild bird felt comfortable enough to let us open the screen door and get within 50 feet of it and then calmly turn its head and let us take its picture. Overcome with the excitement at being so close, it never occurred to us that this wild bird was slowly losing its fear of us, and that this could put our dog in danger.
Some days are definitely harder than others, and today has definitely been one of those days. Today has been a frustrating day full of interruptions and delay. Task that should have taken 5 minutes were turned into an hour plus exercise in misery as every time I started someone would come and ask a question or needed me to hear something important. On top of that, it seemed that every program was eager to reveal their peculiar quirks, crash, or somehow erase portions of the work I had struggle to complete.
Irritating and pain inducing struggle that it was, I had brushed most of it off as the unwanted misery of one of those trying days when it everything goes wrong and you wish that you could just stay in bed until today turns into tomorrow. Tired and worn, I have learned to take a deep breath and remind myself that this too shall pass, and take an extra long break to recuperate.
All would have passed with only minor notice, if it had not been for an unexpected disappointment. For weeks I have planned to get a brand new math sheet creating program that was scheduled to come out tomorrow. For days I have watched every video that I could, and planned what I would do when I got it.
That was until tonight, when less than 14 hours before its release, the breaks were slammed shut because my mother feels the price is to high. Suddenly, without any warning, hours of waiting and planning went up in a puff of smoke.. In that second my heart sunk and discouragement took hold.
It reminded me how much has changed since my father died. If he was alive the price of the program would not have been an issue. As my eager cheerleader he would have helped me pour over the different bonus packages to help me chose the right one.
It is not that money was not an issue while he was alive. As long as I can remember money has always been tight. As much as my father would have loved to give me a blank check and let me get whatever I wanted, he had to settle for long talks to help us pick and chose which items were the most important and which we might desire but must pass on for now.
But things were just better enough, that there would have been no question about whether or not we were going to get this program. After a few minutes of seeing what this program could do, the question would have been settled, it might mean waiting on other things for my little business for a few months, but he would have said it was a deal too good to pass up.
Even then, some of the heartache of missing my father and the way things were before he died might have been avoided, if it were not for the fact that all of this is a stark reminder of how my life and business have stood still. ears of fighting to go to school, years of struggling to make books, and I am still in the same place as day one. A lifetime of struggling and doing without, giving up holidays and summer vacation to study, staying up till midnight to do homework, getting up at 4am to get ready for school, some semesters enduring 12 hours without food because I could not afford to go to taco bell and get a burrito, at times having to go to class in a wheelchair, pushing myself to the point that tears were running down my checks with each step because I was ignoring the symptoms of a massive infection, enduring long hours in class with an undiagnosed and untreated migraine, for what?
Even now, after school my dream of going to school and becoming a doctor, then settling to try and become a nurse practitioner, and for now even getting a bachelor degree has been demolished, I have pushed myself to the point that every bone in body hurt. Where my nerves were so raw that it felt like someone was scratching their nails down a chalkboard or putting bare wire in water, and even worse, triggering hours of intense nausea that kept me from eating or functioning until it passed.
Why, in hopes that this puzzle book, that poetry video, blog, notebook, or activity pack would be the one to take off and earn more than a buck or two here and there. That at last, my dedication and perseverance, my willingness to work until my body said no more, would at last be rewarded. And success, even a little droplet of success, would finally come my way. And finally the pain of having to spend a lifetime on the sidelines watching my family, my neighbors, my classmates, and you tubers get their dream job, graduate from school, some become doctors, get engaged, married, have kids, buy their dream home, and live the life that will never be mine, wash away.
In that one crushing moment I felt that bitter weight of failure. That agony of knowing that no matter what I do, no matter how hard I struggle, I will never know the thrill of success or the joy of being a part of life. For good or for bad, for some reason all of my best efforts have ended up in a sea of tears that could not be kept in a hundred bottles for their multitude.
It has taken a lot of effort, but most days I am able to bury the pain of missing out on life’s dearest mile markers. It is not easy, but most of the time I can put on a brave enough face to convince those who long to be convinced that I am content not to marry and have kids, that I am satisfied to be forgotten as I sit on the sideline and watch the world go by.
Thankfully, the effort to make my books and humble little videos, keeps just the tiniest enough sliver of hope alive, that most days I can ignore the deep ache in my heart. Over and over I tell myself today will be the day, and if not, surely tomorrow will be the one. Perhaps this book will the book that will change the course of my life and allow me to enjoy the pleasure of earning my own living.
But tonight, when yet another hope crumbled into a billion particles of dust, I had to admit defeat. In spite of all my pushing myself to the point of being bedridden, the multitude of missed meals and hours of sleep, and countless other little and major sacrifices so that I might finally hold up my head instead of always having to hold out my hand, I have gotten nowhere. In a cruel twist of fate, the classrooms full of students who barely made an effort, have enjoyed the thrill of victory, have known the joys and frustrations of work, love, and family, while I, the one who gave every ounce of her feeble strength, have only tasted failure and disappointment. And all my hard work and dedication has only netted my aches, pains, infections, migraines, emergency room visits, loneliness, tears, broken dreams, and more.
Will I rise or will I fall? Will the day ever come when my hard work will translate into something greater than an empty dream, unfilled longings, and a quietly broken heart? Will I ever know the joy of finding true love, of earning my own wage, or at least being able to earn enough that every once and a while I can have the pride of being able to say, it may seem expensive to you, but its my money and I think its worth it? I do not know. But it sure seems like on this earth, success will never be mine no matter how hard I try.
The only thing that I can do is give my broken dreams to God and ask Him to dry the tears of my heart and give me the strength to get up tomorrow and keep on fighting until there is no more time to fight. And trust that one day He will keep His promise to swallow up the years that the locust have eaten up, and exchange all my tears for shouts of joy and happiness.
reflectionsaboutlifedotcom 