Posted in Faith, Poems Beginning iwth I, Poetry, Religion, Thoughts, Uncategorized

I Trust and Wait

I trust and wait, is an easy thing to say when everything is going right. But during times like these, when the tiny two steps forward that it has taken years of struggle to gain, in one second has been swallowed up, and it seems like you are about to be pushed back a thousand feet farther than ever before, its not so easy to say. And harder yet to mean.

I trust and wait, praying and working, even though that is all you can do in this life, sometimes does not seem like enough. And it seems like vanity, when you look at the wall of problems eagerly seeking a way to knock you down.

O how simple those words of faith are in times of ease, but in uncertain days like this, when your fledgling business that a few months before was just starting to grow, has suddenly turned upside down. And a thousand clicks is lucky to bring in one or two sales. And all your painful sweat, your agonizing hours of pushing through exhaustion and pain, have evaporated into another lost dream, suddenly its not so easy to promise to put everything in God’s hands, and to give over your heavy burdens.

In times like these it is so tempting to rip them from His hands, and say Lord, I know better than you. To say why did I let go, when everything I have tried goes wrong. And every corner of my life seems to be filled with nothing but impossible dreams.

It is easy to say I trust and wait when life is a breeze, but when the trials of life hit, then you know who really mean it and who are just saying words made of puff and fluff.

Yet this is the moment, this is the hour that our faith must rise to the challenge, and take an even stronger hold of that Almighty hand. Now more than ever, it is time to give God every corner of our heart, and to tell His listening ear of our increasing woe. For we are small and powerless, but who can stand before the Maker of the Universe? Who can cross the line, of Him who by a word quieted the storm?

They say that after a long trip, the last few miles home are the hardest. And from the looks of things, that is where we are in the scheme of prophetic history. The bulk of our wandering in an arid desert is almost over. In a few more miles we shall reach the banks of the Jordan and there we shall at last lay down all of our burdens. But like the wandering children of Israel before us, the last few miles will not come easy. Temptation and trials will increase, as the devil uses every device to trick, discourage, and if possible prevent us from making it to the other shore.

If you enjoyed this poem you might want to check out my book Poetry From the Heart Poems of Faith.

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Posted in life, Poems Begining with M, Poetry, Thoughts, Uncategorized

My Legacy?

Hurray for the weekend! I am so glad that it is finally here.  It has been a hard week of pushing myself through the fatigue to spend a few minutes here and there trying to get something accomplished. At times it seemed to take every ounce of strength I had to accomplish the smallest task. And for what?

Though I put forth my best effort, nothing I did seemed to workout. After spending hours pushing myself to the limit, even though I know the results will be hours of intense pain, I find myself still standing in the same unenviable place of total dependence upon my parents for my food, clothing, shelter, and medical care.

Some weeks are not so bad. The effort required takes a little less toll, and by God’s grace I enjoy a minuscule reward. But on weeks like this the effort exerted and the total lack of results rise up before me, and I cannot help but feel like my life has been a failure. As I consider the hours of sweat and tears, the times I pushed myself out of a warm bed at 4 AM, went 12 plus hours without food, all in the hopes of becoming a productive member of society, all in the hopes of one day proudly being able to turn around and take care of my parents like they had me. And see that despite my faithful hours of study, and persevering effort, I have yet to take one step forward, I cannot help but wonder, what was the worth? What was the reason for my existence? If every effort in my life was going to result in failure, why is that God created me?

It is because of frustrating and rather depressing weeks where I spent ten hours sweltering, and seemed to end up taking five steps backward, that this poem was written. As I looked back at my life of constant trying, and wondered, if something happened to me, what would my legacy be? What will the world and those whom I love remember? Is it possible that even though to human eyes my life may appear to be nothing but loss and failure, that one day, when I stand before the judgement throne, that seeming loss will actually be shown to be a success?

I hope that you enjoy this humble poem of contemplation. And that it causes you to examine your heart and life, to determine what your legacy will be. And to ask yourself if on the day of judgment your life will prove to be a success or failure.

Posted in life, Poems Begining with S, Poetry, Thoughts, Uncategorized

What is Success?

There is something about the ending of the old and the beginning of the new year that causes us to pause for a moment and reflect upon our lives and to ask ourselves the all important question, is my life a success? Have I made the right choices and earned the right to call my life a success?

With great in trepidation we pull out the familiar yard stick and measure our lives with those of our friends and neighbors. Fully believing that if we can check all of the right boxes, we can stand among the proud, the few, and declare that we have earned the coveted award of success.

The problem is, that no matter how many boxes we check off, the badge of success seems to elude us. We might have a beautiful home and family, have earned the love and devotion of our dearest loved ones, and for a moment we bubble over with pride, confident that we have reached the coveted mark. But then we turn and look at those around us and realize that while our house is lovely, it is not nearly as nice as so and so, that our furniture is plain and drab when compared to our neighbor, and that our income is a mere pittance when compared with that of our sister or brother.

Suddenly, as we compare ourselves with those around us, the warm glow of delight fades and a cold chill of hopelessness takes hold. As we realize that no matter how hard we strive, no matter how hard we try, we cannot grasp that elusive star called success.

Sadly, as long as our measuring tape is viewing our accomplishments against that of others, as long as we make the keeping up with the Jones our mark of success, we will never be able to look with satisfaction upon our lives. Because no matter how hard we strive, no matter how far we climb, there will always be some corner of our life where we will find that someone is standing taller and walking a few steps ahead.

Unfortunately we have come to believe that success is being the richest, the brightest, the fastest rising member of our circle. But this view is like a pile of fools gold glimmering in the noonday sun. It is full of glamour and glitz, but the pursuit of it will leave you feeling hollow, stressed, empty, and burdened down with disappointment.

Instead of taking out the chart and comparing every corner of our lives with those around us, it would be far more valuable to take out the measuring stick and take a good hard look at ourselves. To study where we have grown, and where we have come up short. To look and see how many times we have fallen hard and gotten up. How many times we have made an embarrassing mistake, and even though we wanted to run away from the discomforting glare of the crowd, stuck it out and determinedly got the job done.

Because as wonderful as it would be to taste the success of landing the dream job that will allow us to buy the life that we desire, it is far more valuable to become a success at knowing when to stand our grown, of gaining the muscles of endurance that will allow us to build a relationship with those we love that can stand the bitterest trials of life, and to fall flat on our face, and pick ourselves up and stand firm and tall.

Posted in life, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Waiting to Make our Dream Come True

Waiting, it is one of the hardest lessons in life to learn, perhaps that is why it seems that most of our life is spent in this frustrating mode. Hard as we may push to avoid this problematic state of unwanted suspension, it seems that some unexpected problem crops us causing one or more of our cherished plans to come to a halt and enter this bleak miasma where like comes to a grinding halt.

It seems that if anyone is need of learning this painful lesson it must be me, for sadly it is in this deplorable state of affairs that one of my newest dreams have fallen. Not that is such a new dream, for bits and pieces of it have been around in some form, but up until now the idea has always been in the background as a nice idea for some future date after my real hopes and goals had been met and I at last had time to relax in the warm glow of having accomplished my grand goals. But once the sad truth at last broke through, that I was not fighting some transient battle with ill health that with a little TLC would vanish into the night never again to reappear, was a lovely dream but not the stark reality, I at last came to the unwanted conclusion that it was time for me to lay down my sword and admit that I was not equipped with the necessary gear of resilient health necessary to slay the giant and claim the castle I had so long desired. But must instead find a new set of dreams that with a little fine tuning could bring the smile back to my face and hope into my frustrated heart.

family 956
 

Over the years, the desire to have something more than one or two small garden boxes was slowly building.

 

The seed of this new dream had been planted years earlier as having learned different tidbits about the sad state of the food we put into our bodies, my family and I had at various times kept a small garden. It was never much more than a raised bed of peppers, a bucket of tomatoes, or a few citrus trees, but from this humble start an idea was slowly sprouting, and the dream of growing a garden capable of meeting a fair percentage of my family and my needs.

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